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1. |
menthol libre
03:10
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Maybe I am the stupidest person you've ever met
Do you have a cigarette I could consume
And let's just say
30 seconds later hate myself so much
And then I'll go do it again
Cause It's hard to give a meow
What happens to the end
Of a story that's burnt out already and
Wish that I could hit the re-switch set and mend
But I can't
And I won't
Try to stand
On my own
It's too much for me to do
I'll take it back the awful things I said
If you tell me for a fact it's the last
that we'll see of ever needing anyone else
Easier than to have felt
Like I was insufficient
Like I was just a felt tip
Drawing of the future with very rough details
That would soon be improved upon
As soon as you moved out of your parents' house
And well I guess that it’s probably actually not that untrue
It's probably not that important to lose
Every distorted new truth
That you whisper in my ear to lose me out and waste my time
But it's exactly what I've been doing since 1989 or something
I can't remember what year I was born
Because I don't exist
Because I'm just a fragment
A conglomeration of a bunch of a random details together
then this magnet that holds the core together in the shape of an L
In the shape of my healthy loss
All the lines that I cross
All the ways that I hate myself so much that
I have to toss it out a window in the angry ages
I have so much lost the pages of the book
I was supposed to have kept quickly then
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2. |
primate
01:35
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I'm falling asleep and I'm starting to think
There's nothing worth waking up for like ever
October’s clever little hazy fucking eyes
Covered up my eyes
Hope you’re anxious too
Hope I can surmise
Hope I can exist
Pull myself from this primordial fucking ooze
Where I must always lose my patience
with this slow unfolding burnt dry bullshit
Control burn down the whole forest
By the time that I'm done being In charge of the parks and recreation department in the county where i lived
Cause i never really had all these amounts of different gifts
That i could bestow on the citizens that lived
I was pretty much exposing myself only everyday to taking all the money I could, okay?
So let's just move to a new topic of discussion
That I love everything you do
To the extent that I get drunk
On the idea of the losing out assemblies
That we always championed so severely
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3. |
heather
05:09
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Have i ever mentioned that it would not exactly make me sick
The news in the paper
That you have deceased from your life in the most terrible ways
I can’t exactly promise that a tear would occur on my face
It’s more likely that I’d probably laugh okay
Now that we got that type of bullshit out of the way
We can just go back and
Swim in the waves of life
Cosmic stream and the waste of time
Empty screams of the people that we know
From so far back in time i go around the corner of my mind
But I don’t stay long cause i have left a burner on or something pretty sure
Otherwise it’s just not the function of
Hurting myself over again, trying to help it but I can’t really spend
Any of my time any other way this is all i know
So let’s melt away
Freezing sunset snow cone life
You have assigned me tonight
Where you insist that I must drive
Or walk or ski or climb or something
Walmart on the other side of town
Where I can return some bullshit
I don’t want anything around my neck when I retreat off the edge of the connect 4 board
Where my hopes have all been stored and i feel that an electrical ordeal that has occurred
Is so bad with all of us and now I’m glad to move away and on to that other type of t
hing
That I can use whenever I believe it’s necessary and no one must be subject to the concept of these things that would exist if we were human dynamics
So instead we’ll just put these
Powder tablets inside the receptacles in our minds
Proper rituals must be described
You can’t drop the host
You can’t give up the ghost
You can’t say your own name in a backwards mirror at
3:22 in the morning we must do just whatever it takes to survive the spirits who swim around before our eyes and say they have to absorb our energy now
We must resist them somehow
With that dumb look in your mouth
And your twisted eyes
Can’t think of anything i want more now
What the fuck has become of my pride or my ability to decide what it is best
Clearly i should just
Second guess myself in the order all that i
Sort your mail through
Eyelid filter
caution signs on my conscience and I swear I’m getting sick
Caution signs on my conscience and
I sort of don’t give a shit
Because it’s been many times before
And many times again and it’s
Flying out the door
And its Lying to its friends
And its Teeth are rotting out
But it’s having such a time
All these amounts of money can’t describe the
Highs we reached on the other side of the street
And the narrowly avoided lows
That threatened to crush you and me both
I guess that i got a different outlook and decided
That i’m obviously so much better at this type of shit
And we should just do what we can to completely erode
The numbers on the clock
So we never have to go in time again
And we can just leave the reservation completely
I’m so tired this shits never easy
Why is it always like this?
It’s always so much
And i feel like i’m dying now there’s
Heather on the back of my eyelids
Heather was a fucking heather, fuck you heather
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4. |
fraud
01:52
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I fuck up everything i care about cause
Dissociative anesthetic volatile gasses in my lungs cause it passes out underneath of
The classes I skip and the lies that i’ve lasted this long somehow
And I’m calling it crazy
And you’re calling me baby in some kind of nightmare from 70 maybe seconds later where i have to see the
Theater like machine gun approach to all that I love
Just watch it go up in smoke while I shove the not lit end in my nose if I’m lucky
hot rail on my burnt flesh
If I’m ugly enough I might burn up my love
That i’ve learned to compose on a sunny day
On a beautiful rose with the thorny haze
Where your mind kind of goes for a loop some days
But it’s alright because i don’t think anything is
Permanent therefore we shouldn’t care
We should just do drugs
We should just lose out
On all we love
And punch the mouth of what we could have had
Such happiness inside but instead
I would have to pry the boards
out of the nails and the iron from the floor
and the wrinkle in the clothes and promising to soar higher up
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5. |
rosie
04:38
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I was able to describe a certain part of my life with a stunning and shocking detail that
seems to incise right through the problem
That we cannot solve
Blaming disturbed light where I must now find
a different excuse to use in my life
under the stage stand on my head
get carried away pictures of the dead
door frame lock shut
Don’t give a fuck
What you think of me cause I got good luck
And i’m gonna put it down in the history books tonight
Lights have blinded my eyes with the most spectacular high and lows
I cannot go out the door without remaining cold so
I think that I’ll stay in, the distance from my soul and the wearing thin of all my skin and i never had any bit of meaning
I have been leaning towards the idea
that we are fleeting and entirely impossibly absent meaningful little sparks of light
4:14
You look into your own eyes long enough you are bound to delight
In the idea of a complete an inescapable psychosis that holds you closest to its breastbone
Know this is the truth: I can never lose
Anything you say will eventually come back around to destroy you and well
I cannot destroy what has been destroyed my whole life
I’ll just sit there in the ashes rubble dust
Weasel cockroach motherfucking excuse for the
what you should have seen in the doorway when you turned around
instead it was this
Zombie like figure that would frown
in your face and blame you and shit
But its totally the same way that you treat me now this is
Ridiculous loops that i can’t escape
Karmic flutes and knots and tape
I swear that red is cotton down and its giving up
And you see me round see me coming up
Rosy little window where she walks up to our porch
Says we owe one dollar and the coming plague must be waiting
Until she gets her till correct
She gets all that she needs
She’s breathing down our necks
For ninety nine cents
This fucking insane wench
I quench my thirst on the side of never having to deal with her again
Cause she got her fucking dollar
I miss when I had friends but
I also have solitary ideals and empty broken dreams but mostly
Bit fingernails that have ripped me down to these stories of our past
Moments where we grasp at the straws on our backs
Just one more and we’ll break in half
And then we’ll not have to snap
And then the jenga will mask
All the pieces that would ask us to fall down
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6. |
real chords
04:17
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That could have actually been something
If only you hadn’t torn it down
Lately it seems like all you fucking know how to do is
Throw your weight around
in the direction of oh i don’t know
The entire town with
Reckless dis-worry of all that you hit
Including yourself you’re such a
Selfish and ungovernable piece of shit
I guess i am too
I guess we must live in each other’s vicinity
Cause there’s no better plan
The city could swallow us up at any second
I don’t want to fucking deal with that again
Pain in my ribs and the hole in my head
And the way that I live and the fact that I am still dead
to the world and the consequences let me unfurl and the
Ropes that jump pit me into place
I cannot have said anything that’s real
Get me into place I cannot have said
this is no my never sort of seal the envelope with the evidence and the piece of rope and the coming little fucking show that you could put on so they know that we had serious issues now
The world gets to feast on the decayed tissues that have liquified and never give us peace
8:30
Offerings that i made
Made when I was drunk
That I must now retract my love
There was never a place for it
And i can’t describe what it feels like when I have
Come inside the door at 5am and find that is nothing is what you ever said
And there were words to completely disregard in my head
And I fall out a window in the shape of the light
Every minute that you know now to describe
Theres a secret in 70 seconds i’ll have to leave
Tell myself that I never cared at all
That I never cared at all
Cause I never really did
I was too selfish to call
Myself my name, my picture of pain,
porta potties with the pine sol flame where I laid all day
Wish it was a joke
But it was just the way
That You made me feel that I must destroy myself
And the cognitive dissonance that results from the awareness that well
It probably won’t be today that I get destroyed
And if i fill the room of the floor at my parents house with
Empty nitrous oxide canisters metal sound clanking together eventually bound to get noticed your life will get worse (x100)
Just Don’t ever fucking forget that your life will get worse unless it ends
Unless the dirt carries over and ends
The dirt carriers over all your eyes and all your friends gather round and they’re so sorry that you’re dead
I bet they’re probably gonna want your shoes
Who deserved it? Who loved him the most?
You should write these things down or just
Don’t even bother having people around
Endless struggle to slaughter everything you love
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