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1. |
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You’re my little high note and I’ll string you on the barbecue
Because I don’t know what better things I’m supposed to care about you
I have lots of better things That i’m supposed to care about
I could never make a single thing you say up
I’m on fire with the doubt that you placed in my mind
About whether you have taken the actual time
It would take to express what I can’t
I’ve never been that close to the world as a whole
So i’m sorry
Very sorry
Everybody is so sorry
We can’t take it back
Unreverse what’s been taxed from our lives from our souls
From the leeching calcium in our soda can of a heart eye
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2. |
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Take it back please I’m trying very hard
I am exactly nothing that you could have asked for
So you go and call the fucking task force (what?)
I can’t say that thing in my own ear in my own ear anymore
It’s unclear what you know
Hey look my name is in the paper today
Guess that I had did something great
Actually it’s terrible wait that’s not so good
Hey my name
Is the one that I forgot
Stay awake
Long enough to pretend that you forgot
Waste of space and time they say
Never really had much confidence anyway
Never really had much anyway
Never really had much anyway
Still didn’t stop you from embracing all that you can’t say
Those are decisions that are best made in somebody else’s vicinity
Cause I don’t want to be stuck with any second hand tangential responsibility
If that doesn’t make sense well then
All the better reason to go
Out the window and through the doorframe
I’ve crescendoed my way down to flaming
Firepits of apocalyptic stuff that occurs lately
So cursed lately
I don’t know why you keep calling me baby
Cause I’m unable to voice what I meant
You can’t love me when I got no voice
You can’t love me when I got no choice
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3. |
nazareth
03:34
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Please stop acting like this is something that it isnt’
People always trying to do this sort of thing
Historically
But I was trying to sound like I don’t really give a shit
Because it’s better than sounding like you could hurt me
Or you’d desert me
I know it’s my fault
At least partially, fuck
#
And it’s 5am or something and there’s glass inside my bladder and I’m singing in the middle of the night about you and crying and stuff
And for months I show this recording to my friends and I don’t remember one of them saying hey that’s great, thanks for writing this
I think they were mostly kind of embarrassed for me
They didn’t understand the long convolkuted
Love story between
You
And Me
And arylcyclohexylamine
If I said that right then I’ll be so happy
Oh, oh
But you’re the one that rotates
I mean I guess everybody but me rotates
But not as often
Still the only reason that I mention this
When I wrote that stupid at 5am crying about that shit
I really thought it was that, this kind of threesome that we had
You, me, FXE (fluoroxetamine)
Doesn’t feel so bad
Because in the memories you don’t hate me as much
And you don’t blame me and stuff
Yeah you don’t hate me as much
You don’t think I’ve been getting too tough with the way that I act
I’m taking it back and the world is off track and that’s not my fault
But what is
Is it harder to prove my love is dead
It never was intact
Its in my head
Keep that on track that's what you said
I cant act like its anything
Cause its just my favorite thing
That just got ripped from my hands
How am i supposed to succeed
When I cant keep my feet planted
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4. |
Snail Pie
03:02
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I swear to god if
Somebody walks in
And tries to insist
There's too many toxins
Well they're probably right
They're probably so right
But I'm just gonna blame them anyway
Because its easier
Than wasting time with my diminishing respect for the ether
That's been fucking up my lungs now
Fucking up my body and i feel it pouring out
Its not a big deal its just something that was on payperview for cheap
Thats a good metaphor for me to express
In a way that we can all understand i guess, i don't know
There's no point, no one cares anyway
It was a waste of everything and it got it in the way
Everything was fine Everything was great
I just loved my mind and it got in the way
It does seem that
I move at this pace
That takes it down to basically nothjng I can word around
Everything was just too loud
And the concert got let out 15 minutes early now
cause I can't take it and arguing with my head pounding and the sound keeps pouring
Im really unhappy about that
You should too
Also be this mad
Life can't feel so sad
Take it back for real
All the silly things you claim to feel
Take them somewhere else
I dont have the time to help myself
To the edge of the world
You're probably not what I think that you are so nothing is different
Worrisome scars
All over my face and body for free
It was fun to behave so self dangerously
And i meant to do that
Everyway when i sat
Oh i would like to express in a different and more beautiful way
Could but i can't
So I'm giving up
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5. |
Butterscotch Pie
04:00
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Take a break from the time you've spent alone
Take a break from the way you never really got to see what its like to be at home
Cause you're always screwing it up
With thjngs that can fit in the rubber band bottom of the cup
That you construct out sad dreams and lost broken prayers i think
I don’t know for sure anything
Cause I've been broken down to molecules with no pedigree
But it doesn't matter to a crazy extent
Everything you do you can just say I'm so sorry but I don't have the time to spend
Trying to express why you've been such a fantastic friend
But I assure you that its true
And one day my word recall may bounce back and I'll be able to explain to you
But in the meantime let's just stay on track
And we can discuss things like attorney fees and maybe in the off chance that we need
Nevermind
I'm just sayin
Nevermind
Songs are playing in my mind all the time so I don't have to think about my
Life
Tired of the tires and the Tylenol headaches I get
Tired of the tylenol headaches that seem to admit
Me into some different realm or place in my head
I'm so tired of living this way
And im dead in the most important ways
That one human could be alive but not fully engaged in their life
Its tedious, monotonous, it goes on for very long and its
very often
That I'm wondering
What is the point
What is the fucking point?
Can you tell me cause i honestly forget sometimes
I honestly just want to feel alright
Why do i do this kind of fucking thing to myself I'm gonna fucking freak out
There's just a certain couple fucking days a year
Where i swear to god theres nothing you could appear to care about less
Than what we need to deal with, I think
But what do I know?
I'm basically just a child based on the way everyone seems to expect me to achieve nothing of substantial value in a real ways
Its acceptable I guess and I'll just stay over what's in my head
Because there's too much time to have spent
On other pursuits
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6. |
balto (interlude)
01:19
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Know that I will go
To any length it takes
Outside in the snow
Know that I will go
To any length that you will take
Anything you show me to eventually escape
Ill continue on where there's a road that I can see
And I will follow it until I'm back home in the free
Rain country with you where I never need to compromise myself in ways that seem to decay seem to decay away the days and time
That I once so badly enriched in my steel frame wallet holding box
That i carved for fun and locked
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7. |
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Maybe if I walk it back enough times
And then we're walking around, feeling so fine
The meeting is over
Everyone suffers
Relentlessly with the idea that other than themselves there's nothing so real
You haven't tried enough to actually give the structure that you said you would
Instead you kind of just do whatever you want no matter what because you can
You're not a good person
Not as much as you seem to think you are
Thats who you meant
It was my other friend
Who had just purchased some new shoes from you
On the wall for cheap now
I found them on the wall
There was no one I could call
When i found them on the wall
For rawhide
Found them on the wall
Wheer3 they have to hide
Everybody goes all around and tries
To determine prices of 10mg methylphenidate tablets
At the local pharmacy for 12 dollars an hour
Never really knew what you loved
Until it looked you dead in the face
Now if you'll recall what I meant to do
Was not be a part of this
I would never like to do this again if given a chance its
Stepping in boundaries
I should never uncross my eyes
If there's not a good reasons
I could have escaped from time
Everybody knows that
I hope so too
I guess I never understood the carelessness
And my fingers freeze off in the wind
Fingers freeze off in the wind and it floats around for many many hours i drown
The edge of the way they would cause me to fade
Fading out in a second
Barely thinking about the consequence
Fading out Relentlessly
Never able to express the mis that your step takes
I can't unbreak broke I don't know no more
I never knew a thing about anything that was remotely relevant fool
Ive fallen out of grace with the way that I would try to save my face
Now I never get to say I'm sorry
I'm just literally
Can't feel it
I can't let myself feel it now
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8. |
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Here's a thing that you could do next time
That you move around and lose your mind
Everyday when you would try to climb
Into planets that you would never find
I don't know how to say the words
They were always stuck with her
But I know that you'll relate
If you look beyond your pain to another
If you can
Take it in stride again
Take it in stride
As much as your pride allows
Take it away from yourself like the book that you never should have read
Or been allowed to
Take it away from yourself like dessert on a night that you've been really bad and You know
What I’m saying
I think it speaks for you
The way the wind keeps on just blowing through
I'm tired of it
I wish things were different now and they could be but
I gotta get your
Name on the line
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9. |
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Gotta get your name on the right there on the dot with the curvy penmanship or whatever
It doesn't really matter
You're lucky i showed you so much respect as to ask
And not just forge it
Trust me I could afford it
If I wanted to
But I'm so good to you
That I didn't something I could have that's bad
So please praise me for that
In fact let's move beyond praise into obligation
Obligation
Maybe thats not quite right i don't know
Sometimes it seems both ways or none or I don't know
12
Cut my fucking hand up so much that I can't feel it
That's just part of being alive as an american youth today
That's what I've got to pointlessly say
I try so hard and then again I fuck it up
I lose my friends
I piss everybody off because of choices I make
When i was too high to replay the memory
So when they tell me about it I'm like that's crazy, you must be joking
It wasn't me
But apparently it was
Or maybe they're just gaslighting me
Its sometimes hard to say
Isnt my life great
To have such a wonderful array
Of choices to make
Places to go
People to see
Never expose the weakest tendon, see
Thats something I thought about
When I first heard the news
Something that could have been plotted out
More effectively perhaps to better use
But its too late now to sit around and ponder if theres anything we could have done differently
It doesnt matter now because it can't undead the ones that are also dead it cant do that to them
It cant remove the thing
And make it something else it doesnt work for free
It doesnt work for money
It doesn't work for tips
It doesnt work on commission
It doesnt work as an i9 independent contractor
No it just doesn't work at all
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10. |
Gregory
04:31
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Maybe things have gotten to a certain point
Where I'm lighting lives on fire just to light my joint
Cause I have to sometimes to feel like I have been
Hoisted on to the shoulders
Of a very exciting giant
Whos gonna show me how to steal people's money and treasure
I dont like it anymore so
Here's just a morsel of
Advice that I could give to myself if I were more so or less so not
Really stupid
So incredibly unwise
With the things I've decided to do
Those are some of the words that he wrote about himself
That was in his diary
Next to his body when he hung himself
Don't try to apply these quotes to any living entities
They were also just for entertainment
He specifically wrote that
In the suicide note he was like if you ever use these in any kind of for profit production or advertisement
Could you please do just one thing for me
And that was
*just one thing for me
Please make sure they're used for entertainment only
Make sure they don't take my advice
Obviously I was unsatisfied with my life
For them To follow in my footsteps would be
A real shame and a tragedy
Don't do it
Don't allow them
To be students
Of the fountain
Of tears that pour from this pen
Put it down for good, for real, for their benefit
Please make me look a joke
So that way other ones can feel safe
I just lost touch with my brains connection to my hands arm and face
And its freezing
Which means please don't take my advice
Unless its for entertainment then its fine
And I'll still love the rest of my life
To imagine that you could write
A kind of line from mind to mind and life to life and be alright
Stay alive through the ages because of words that were spoke
Alive through the ages because of words that were spoke
And they were spoke with clearness and brevity and they described how everything is fine as long as you stay with your name in the legacy of people you love and stuff like that yeah wait
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